I’ve brought it on myself,
Messed up, tripped up, shown up, given up,
Climbed high mountain to fall.
To fall far; hard.
I’ve held on, been strong, let go and said, “No.”
I should have said, “Yes.”
And I said, “Yes,” when I should have said, “Never!”
Should have stayed.
Closed my eyes to safety to my shame,
Hidden from the blessing and storm; just the same,
Run from foe and friend as if all life was a some sick game,
Taken, wasted, hated, hunted, repented again and again
And through it all,
In every moment you were there.
Always will be.
I couldn’t escape now or ever; I’ve tried.